Milford

We are foundation builders!!!

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9 PAX and 1 FNG conquered the fartsack this morning and made it to this morning’s rainy murky Gloom, in order to work on our foundation.
Semi, Rooty, Spreader, Waterboy, Dunkin, Turtle, Ruxpin, Gecko, MacDaddy, and FNG

Warm- Up
SSH
Cherry Pickers
Butts Kicks 1 Min OYO

The Thang

Step off from GritMil, Indian run to Avenue Methodist Church parking lot. Runner from back sprints ahead holding a large dice, then when in front of pack, HIM pass the dise back to last man, then run, rinse, and repeat.

Arrival at church parking lot, HIM split into teams of 2. Runners and Crunchers. Runners roll dice for core exercises, and then take off for a lap around the church. Crunchers do rolled exercise until the 6 is in. Rabbit runners will join crunchers until the 6 is in, then switch sides, run, rinse, and repeat.

Several moseys around the church parking lot followed by various dice rolled core exercises.

American Hammers
Plank Jacks
Shoulder Taps
Freddie Mercury’s
LBC’s
Big Boys

Break for Third F

Matthew 7:24-29

24 “Therefore, everyone who hears these words of Mine, and acts on them, will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of Mine, and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and its collapse was great.”


Here in Matthew 7, Jesus speaks of the parable of the two houses. One was built on the rock, and the other was built on the sand. When a huge storm came, both houses were hit with the same storm, but the one built on the rock never moved, and the one built on the sand was wrecked and destroyed.

The builders of these houses, built their homes with the same materials, the same quality, and the same specs, except for the foundation on what they were built on. The foundation is what made the difference in this situation. In comparison, it takes hard work to build your house on a good foundation, and it is very easy to build your house on the sand.

The house build on the rock represents the individual who loves Christ and follows him. They invest their lives in the pursuit of Christlikeness. 1 Corinthians 1:11 says, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”

The house built on the sand represents the foolish builder who looks the part, and is polished on the outside. However, he deceived himself thinking that everything would be okay when trials would come his way. He had nothing to anchor him down, he heard God’s word, but never put it into practice or lived it out. There was no true evidence that this individual grounded himself in the teaching and principles of Jest Christ.

So gentlemen, we are all guaranteed to have a severe storm come into our lives. In fact, God says that we will endure trials, but when it comes, will we be grounded in Him? The only way we will not budge is if we have built of lives on our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

So, let’s take a step back today, and look at our foundation. Let’s do an inspection of our life, and see where we are at. Where are our priorities, are we just hearing God’s word, or are we living it out in our life?

James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”

Mosey Back to the Gritmil via Indian Run for Name-O-Roma/COT

A Twisted Deck of Pain

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DATE: 22 JUNE 2022

QIC: Focker

YHC had his Virgin Q this morning! Thanks to the 17 HIMs who showed up for a record attendance at The Grit Mill! It meant a lot to have such good representation on my first Q. I decided to use fate and the F3 Workout Cards to assist me on the beatdown.

WARM-O-RAMA:

  • Disclaimer given
  • Moroccan Nightclub – 20 IC
  • Side Straddle Hob – 20 IC
  • Imperial Walker – 20 IC
  • Cherry Picker – 20 IC

Following the warm-o-rama we mosied to the parking lot at Arena’s and the PAX circled up around the speaker and workout cards.

THE THANG:

YHC broke out his new F3 Workout Cards for this beatdown. With the PAX circled around the cards about 15 feet from the deck of cards. Inspired by T-Rex using music for his beatdown, YHC brought a speaker to play 90’s alternative for the entire beatdown.

Everyone bear crawls to the center where YHC drew five cards for the first set and a different PAX was identified for the subsequent sets. Once cards were drawn, everyone crawl beared back their original position.

Call out for the exercises written on the cards as follows:

  • 2-10: card value + 10 reps for the exercise
  • Royals: 25 reps for the exercise
  • Ace: 50 reps of that exercise

At the completion of the set everyone bear crawls back to the deck for more cards.

Set breakdown:

SET ONE:

14 – Alternating Side Squats

25 – Freddie Mercury’s

12 – Bulgarian Split Squats

18 – Backward lunges

25 – Diamond Merkins

SET TWO:

13 – High, Slow Flutter Kick IC

17 – Monkey Humper

14 – Carolina Dry Dock

Bear crawl 15 feet, Crawl bear 15 feet

20 – Rosalitas

Conducted the 3RD F after the second set:

Continuing the theme of checking on each other and on the people in our lives with whom we haven’t spoken to in a while. YHC shared a personal story of how he was going through a difficult time in his life and felt alone and had received a special message to seek out Psalm 20.

Psalm 20
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 May the Lord answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.[b]
4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
5 May we shout for joy over your victory
and lift up our banners in the name of our God.

May the Lord grant all your requests.

6 Now this I know:
The Lord gives victory to his anointed.
He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary
with the victorious power of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
9 Lord, give victory to the king!
Answer us when we call!

Two days later, YHC met a woman while performing his duties as a nurse, and she was the key to change the direction his life was going in and make everything right in his world. Continue to reach out to each other and to others in your life. You just may be the person to turn their life around for the better!

SET THREE:

16 – Jumping lunges

25 – Monkey Humper

17 – Derkins

18 – Luge

25 – American Hammers

SET FOUR:

14 – Heels to Heaven

20 – Butt Kicks

18 – Merkins

17 – Lil Baby Crunches

15 – Hand Release Merkins

SET FIVE:

19 – Squats

16 – Wide Arm Merkins

50 – Calf Raises

25 – Shoulder Taps

19 – Ranger Merkins 

Mosey back to The Grit Mill to end the beatdown.

NUMBER-RAMA

NAME-O-RAMA

COT/BOM:

  • Welcomed Thomas Lilly FNG nicknamed as Knobs.
  • Announcements: TRexs’ M’s event this weekend at Milton Memorial Park. Roving Ruckf3st Friday will be at The Grit Mill
  • Prayer: For Quattro’s friend who was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. For MacDaddy and Taps and the group traveling via bicycles. Prayers for all us HIMs to be the leaders and examples to others in our homes, jobs, and communities. Prayers for all the needs and attentions of those present.

I am honored that so many PAX showed up for my VQ! I was truly grateful and humbled.

Focker, out!

Bocce Ball

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Bocce Ball

QIC: Semi
AO: Grit Mill

Warm-a-Rama
25 seal jacks i/c
25 seal wave i/c
10 mountain man pooper i/c
25 plank jacks i/c

The Thang
Mosey past the basketball court to the bridge, lt. Dan halfway across, Dan lt. The other half over to the bocce court on the right.

Bocce ball
Teams of 2 try to roll their ball closest to the “Jack”
We completed an Exercise after each round;
Squats 25
Urkins 25
Derkins 25
Split squats 10 per leg
Lbcs 25
Big boys 15
Merkins 25
Dips 25

3rd F
Leadership Ignited • Devotional

https://bible.com/reading-plans/16538/day/1?segment=0

Mosey back to AO

Number-Rama
NAME-A-RAMA
COT

8 HIM showed today: Semi, Sherlock, Dunkin, Waterboy, Focker, Ruxpin, Time Clock, Spreader

Recovery Workout??

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QIC: Semi

AO: Gritt Mill

Warm-a-Rama
20 Seal jacks i/c
20 Seal wave i/c
10 fence hoppers per side oyo
10 hip circles each direction oyo
20 Cherry pickers i/c
15 Windmill i/c

The Thang
Mosey to playground by ballparks

15 hanging knee raises
50 lbcs
20 derkins
40 urkins
15 gas pumpers

10 count

15 hanging knee raises
50 lbcs
15 diamond merkins
15 wide merkins
15 gas pumpers

3rd F
WHY DOGS LIVE LESS THAN HUMAN

Here’s the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that dogs’ lives are shorter than human lives.  Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay for as long as we do.”

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

• When your loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
• Take naps.
• Stretch before rising.
• Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
• Be faithful.
• Never pretend to be something you’re not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

That’s the secret of happiness that we can learn from a good dog.

Talked from the heart about the lose of a friend and the car accident I came upon all within the last month

Mosey back to AO – ran down and up some steps at the AO

Number-Rama
NAME-A-RAMA
COT

3 HIM showed today: Semi, Woodstock, Focker

Lawnmower

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QIC: Semi

Warm-a-Rama
20 seal jacks i/c
20 seal wave i/c
10 hip circles oyo
15 mountain man pooper i/c
15 Windmill i/c

The Thang

Each HIM grabs a coupon
Mosey to the old bank

10 chuck Norris merkin
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side
10 coupon merkin
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side
20 derkins
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side
30 urkins
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side

Capri lap around the parking lot

30 coupon flys, shoulders on the wall or curb
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side
30 coupon bench press, shoulders on the wall
5 kettle bell clean w/coupon per side
Bolt 45, heels on curb
20 gas pumpers, coupon between knees

3rd F

Told my story if how I got into F3

Mosey back to AO

Round of Mary
10 X n O’s, Waterfall
25 4 count Freddie, Woodstock

Number-Rama
NAME-A-RAMA
COT

8 HIM  showed today: Chappie, Ruxpin, Kwak, Woodstock, Waterfall, Sherlock, Looney Toons, Semi

Hairy Starfish

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https://youtu.be/ny0cPhuxh_4

Date: 3/2/22

QIC: Chappie

Hairy Starfish? What’s with the title? Eh, nothing more than a reference to the typical “hair or the dog” (i.e. a revisit to some of yesterday’s March Merkin Madness with Ruxpin’s first respect! Q ) through YHC’s Starfish workout for today. Here’s how it went down…

First, PAX began with a lot of mumble chatter reflecting on yesterday’s brutality. But hey, they posted so YHC knows they’re up for more!

WARM-O-RAMA:

  • SSH – 18 IC
  • Windmill – 18 IC
  • IW – 18 IC
  • OH Squat Press – 18 IC
  • Shoulder Tap Merkins – 10 IC (kinda hairy…)
  • Cherry Pickers – 18 IC (nice and slow, all the way up and clap)

Mosey to Arena’s parking lot…

THE THANG:

The Starfish: 5 cones set up around the parking lot like 5 legs of a starfish, with 1 in the middle. PAX will do specific exercise at each cone, returning to the center cone after each one to do 10 Burpees or 10 Burpjacks. Check it out:

  • Cone #1: 100 Merkins (Kinda hairy, do sets of 10, 20, 25 or whatever, til you get ’em done)
    • To center cone: 10 Burpees
  • Cone #2: 100 LBC’s
    • Center Cone: 10 Burpjacks
  • Cone #3: 100 Squats
    • Center Cone: 10 Burpees
      • Inserted 3rdF here (see write up below)
  • Cone #4: 100 Drydocks
    • Center Cone: 10 Burpjacks
  • Cone #5: 100 Dips
    • Center Cone: 10 Burpees

Mosey back to the AO, hitting a Prison Break from the corner…

Among other things, from warm-up to workout that’s a total of 220 Merkins & 50 Burpees

NUMBER-RAMA

COT:

Announcements: ShamRuck family ruck coming Fri. March 18 @ 6:17 pm (likely Georgetown, details TBA)

Prayers: For Bill Sammons and family, especially daughter Ira, fleeing Ukraine to Poland; for Blockbuster in Army Basic Training

Here’s your daily 3rdF:

I’ve been reminiscing a lot since Blockbuster left on Sunday to head to Basic Training at Ft. Jackson. Having served as well of course, I have lots of memories to reminisce about—1 in particular came to my mind as I thought of Blockbuster facing the unknowns and the fears that go along with them.

It had to do with the Lord’s Prayer: After lights-out on the very first night of Basic Training, the DS’s exited the barracks and we all laid there in the dark in total silence in our bunks, not sure what to do or whether to talk or not, etc. After a few minutes of a dark eternity I debated within my own head whether to say the Lord’s Prayer [out loud]. I feared whether anyone would join me. I feared forgetting the words and messing it up. Certainly this first day and night carried its own sort of fears too. Like, what the heck did I get myself into? Finally I just went for it:

Matthew 6:9-13

There in the dark barracks everyone else joined in the beautiful chorus of reciting the Lord’s Prayer together. It’s the Prayer that Jesus taught his disciples when they asked, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Mt.6).

He taught them a model of the structure of prayer which was never meant to be a repetitive recitation (used over and over). But that night I think we recited it as a way of not only acknowledging and confessing our fears [corporately], but also of crying out to God with one voice to say that we needed Him in that hour, in the weeks ahead, and in the season to come. And there was an Esprit de corps in that room! It was one of those moments that brought with it the peace and confidence which only God could provide.

We all seemed to know after that that God would carry us through BECAUSE we called out to Him. As men we tend to be self-made and self-reliant (but oftentimes as a result, self-destructive too). In times when we fear the unknown or we’re uncertain of what we’ve gotten ourselves into, or especially in times when God has led us in a specific direction, it is time to call out to Him, maybe even cry out to Him—depending on the circumstances.

God always answers. Isaiah 55:6-7 says, “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call on Him while He is near.” The disciples wanted to learn how to pray, how to call on God, so they asked. Many men think that it’s less than manly to cry out to Jesus, but from what I read it’s one of the manliest things we can do. I don’t know about you, but I’ve discovered over the years that I can’t make it on my own. That’s why I’m grateful we have each other in this circle, but we also need to call on God. Lean one each other, yes! but more than that we must lean on the Lord. So man up and call on God; it’s what HIM do. He always answers.

Always grateful to bring the grit to the Grit Mill. Appreciate the PAX who posted for 2-in-a-row and downed a little hair of the dog–starfish style!

Chappie Out, Aye!

Caged Soccer

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Caged Soccer

QIC: Semi

Warm-a-Rama

15 seal jacks i/c
15 mountain man pooper i/c
10 hip circles oyo, each way
7 elvis twist, i/c, per side
15 seal wave i/c
15 Windmill i/c

The Thang
Mosey to basketball court

Semi suicides
Side shuffle across court and back
Jail break, nur
Nur, jailbreak
Karaoke

3rd F
https://www.facebook.com/groups/200517883684494/permalink/1407846932951577/

Soccer
Score = 2 burpees
2 passes before shooting

Mosey back to AO

Number-Rama
NAME-A-RAMA
COT

5 HIM showed today: Semi, MacDaddy, Ruxpin, Woodstock, Waterfall

Gritmill

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Welcome to you all, we’re here to have a ball. This place is great, no matter your fate. Do what you can, but adapt your own plan if you need to. We don’t want you to turn blue, and surely you can’t sue. This is a place for HIM, not for the W-O-MEN. You are here on your own, well not really because you’re never alone. Let’s get this warmup started because I’m sure someone has already farted.

Warm up – Side Straddle hop (25), Lunges down parking lot and back, Rocking night club (25) , Cherry pickers (25)

Mosey to Calvary church to play 7 Diamonds

Round 1 – 7 Burpees at all four corners (mosey on long side and bear crawl short side between cones every time)

Round 2 – 14 (4) count flutter kicks at all four corners

Round 3 – 21 merkins at all four corners

3rd F – The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us to become the best version of ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the best version of ourselves.

Round 4 – 28 squats at all four corners

Round 5 – 21 crunches at all four corners

Round 6 – Lunge to end of parking lot then jailbreak to side and lunge back up to beginning.

All things New

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Warm o rama

  1. Annie This exercise instructs pax on the art of clean floors, be warned some pax may break out in song and dance. Hold plank and rotate one arm in a circular motion while holding plank with the opposite arm. 10 each arm each direction
  2. Finkle Swing, named for the infamous kicker “Ray Finkle” it is said that this was the stretch that lost him the big game. Pax swings one leg at a time back and forth to warm up those hips
  3. Happy Jacks Do 5 side straddle hops in cadence then after the 5th one everyone does two jump squats.
  4. Manatee -While in the default Superman position, with left hand twist left and back to grab right foot, return to default, then take right hand and twist right and back to grab left foot. Bend at the knee as needed. A nice stretch on that lower back while working your core. If you were in the water you’d probably look as pretty as a Manatee, sometimes referred to as The Sea Cow.

The Thang

Mosey to Bridge ove the Missipillion River, Train rolled tru so we did 10 Burpees

Duck walk over the bridge

Moseyto parking lot where Arenas is

From the start line Duck walk to the 1st parking line, 5 merkins, reverse bearcrawl back to goal line. Repeat to the 2nd parking line 3rd and 4th increasing # of merkins by 5 until we reached 20 merkins. Duckwalk-Merkin-Reverse Bearcrawl.

3rd F inserted here (at end of backblast)

Mosey to the next parking lot between watsons auction and the old M and t bank

Wheel of Animal Walk Essentially a Wheel of Merkin with Animal Walks between each stage. Frog Hop across parking lot do 10 Merkins w/ both hands on curb. Bear Crawl across, do 10 Merkins w/ left hand on curb. Duck Walk across, do 10 Merkins w/ feet on curb. Crab Walk across, do 10 Merkins w/ right hand on curb.

Mosey to the street the big church is on, mosey down road and get on the boardwalk trail until we get to AO

COT prayers

3rd F message

I took last week of work to go duck hunting all week. While i spent more time observing God’s beautiful creation then I did shooting ducks, I did get some time to reflect on things. 

For what seems like 3 lifetimes ago life was pretty rough for me.  I really struggled in school,  didn’t have a solid place to live,  my dad was in jail and my mom made sure the moose lodges tap beer wouldn’t go stale every night.  I was a troubled teen,  whom really despised life.  I remember having faith that God would work all things out for good for me,  but it would take a long long time.  Many many years before that could be possible.  25 years later,  I’m in a much different phase of life.  All of those things of the past are long long forgotten.  Some say time heals all things.  I say,  God will restore all the years the swarming locust ate. We may go thru tough times. But hold tight.  God has a better plan.  When at the end of our life,  when we feel like life is too short, our

bodies give up on us. And things are looking bleak, if we believe Jesus is the Son of God and he came to make us right with God by  being atonement for our sins thru repentance, we know God has gone to prepare a place for us that where he goes we will be there with him. 

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or

nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:31-39 NKJV

The 4 Horsemen

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F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER Disclaimed.

The HIM : Chappie, Ruxpin, Woodstock, Waterfall, Mac Daddy, Sherlock, Special Guest: Timeclock Looney Tunes on Q

WARM-O-RAMA:

30 Side Streudal Hops,

30 Windmills, 

30 Imperial Walkers,

30 cherry pickers,

30 Maracan Night Club


THA-THANG 4 Rounds of Staple Exercises:

Horseman 1 | ROUND 1:MOSEY

Bolt 45

40 Dips(tricep dips)

30 little baby crunches(LBCs)

30 merkins.

Horseman 2 | ROUND 2:

50 squats,

40 mountain climbers,

40 Big Boys

40 DERKINS

Horseman 3 | ROUND 3:

BEAR CRAWL

40 Squats

40 Dips(tricep dips)

30 little baby crunches(LBCs)

30 merkins.

Horseman 4 | ROUND 4:

Mosey

20 Squats

30 Dips(tricep dips)

30 merkins.

30 little baby crunches(LBCs)

BONUS: 20 Military Big Boys(Guy holding your feet)




THE 3rd F The 4 Horsemen:
I went to an Iron Council event called the Maine Event with what i thought was a Battle plan.

The focus is on the Battle Planner which has 4 quadrants Calibration | Contribution | Conditioning | Connection. Right now, I’m focusing on Contribution(business) this quarter, my calibration is good, my conditioning is good, my Connection quadrant was all about connecting with business owners and NOT about connecting with my family.
Then, we had a CONNECTION presentation by Taylor Jacobson. I fully planned on zoning out but I think the “Jocko Go” kept me super focused all weekend.


He began going through the 4 Horsemen of Fractured Relationships:
The First Horseman: Criticism – and I think, “Oh I criticize people sometimes, but my home life is great. This is just coincidence.”
Second Horseman: Defensiveness: Always justifying yourself.  I think, “Well, I have to do that, I HAVE to be defensive. My family doesn’t understand how hard I work.”
Third Horseman: Contempt: -“I dont do that” then once it was explained as talking down, I thought. “shit I do that, but in a funny way, that’s ok right?”
Most importantly, contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce. It must be eliminated.

Fourth: STONEWALLING: Zone Out, ignoring.
It was at this point I wanted to sneak out of the building and hitchhike home down I-95.

I was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as an Atlas Stone on my shoulder. As uncomfortable as realizing that Taylor is telling stories as examples and he might as well use my name.
I realized- The Four Horseman were right outside my home. Just waiting.
It was a good wake up for me to be honest, I may have been taking my family relationships for granted.
Luckily, Taylor gave us some antidotes to fight these 4 bastards.
The 4 Antidotes
Criticism:
Gentle Startup Dealing with problems in a calm and gentle way. The focus is on the problem—not the person.
Defensiveness
Take Responsibility Own up to your behavior without blaming others
CONTEMPT
Share Fondness & Admiration Foster a healthy relationship by regularly showing each other respect and appreciation. • Show affection. • Recognize your partner’s strengths. • Give compliments
STONEWALLING
Use Self-Soothing Use relaxation techniques to calm down and stay present with your partner.
• Agree to pause the conversation briefly.
• Use deep breathing. • Use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)

I usually I keep these things to myself, “I’ll work on them in silence”. This time, when I got home I opened my notes and showed my wife the Damn 4 Horsemen of Fractured relationships.
Im fighting them off now- it’s been a week since I got back from Maine. The other morning I got a little heated at something (dog related or probably job related) and I could feel myself wanting to STONEWALL.
I forced myself to tell my wife a separate story about farming or something to establish that: 1) the argument was over, 2) I’m not mad- we cool.
We dont know what we dont know.

And we dont know what to ask. I would’ve never googled 4 horsemen unless I was looking for a Ric Flair Meme.

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/four-horsemen.pdf

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