A dirty dozen PAX won THAT FIRST BATTLE, gave their fartsack a beatdown, and posted for the first beatdown of the week on an amazing 63 degree day in December!
If you can’t figure out the beatdown from the title, then read on. If you have children at home, you get the reference. If you were 1 of the 12 HIM who posted, then you know…
WARM-O-RAMA:
Disclaimer given
SSH – 18 IC (Because many men are 18″ from life eternal)
Swartzjacks – 10 IC (Because, well, it’s the 10th of December)
Sealjacks – 10 IC
Crab Flippers – 10 IC…Nice and slow for full effect
Patty Cake Merkins – 10 OYO (w/partner)
Bolt 45 – No complaint breaks in between – Squats: 15 – Top to half, 15 – Half to bottom, 15 – Top to bottom
THE THANG:
PAX stayed paired up, each pair retrieved a 40# sandbag and lined up at the edge of the Grace Church field. Approximately 150 yards in length, PAX alternated between doing 10 Burpees & the Sand Bear Drag (planked over the sandbag, PAX Bearcrawled and pulled the sandbag forward) while advancing the entire length of the field. “Sand Bear, Sand Bear, what do you see? I see the opposite end of the field looking at me.”
Partner 1: 10 Burpees
Partner 2: Sand Bear Drag
Swap, rinse & repeat as necessary
To return from opposite end of the field, PAX swapped out from 10 Apollo Ohno’s to Burpees while advancing the length of the field in return. “Sand Bear, Sand Bear, what do you see? I see the opposite end of the field looking at me.”
Partner 1: 10 Apollo Ohno’s
Partner 2: Sand Bear Drag
Swap, rinse & repeat as necessary
————————-
Back in the AO parking lot, PAX circled up for the day’s 3rd F Message:
(Source: Adapted from F3 Nation QSource Nov. 20)
COMMITMENT – Unwavering Loyalty To The Group And Unflinching Determination To Accomplish It’s Mission
Loyalty requires abandonment of self
How important is commitment to you?
Are you someone who values loyalty and follow-through? When things get tough, are you in the habit of standing firm? Or do you have a tendency to compromise your level of commitment or even quit? More specifically, how committed are you to your team? Is your support solid? Is your dedication undeniable?
WAYS to improve your level of commitment . . .
1) TIE COMMITMENTS TO YOUR VALUES. Because your values and your ability to fulfill your commitments are closely related, take some time to reflect on them.
First, make a list of your personal and professional commitments. Then try to articulate your core values.
Once you have both lists, compare them. You will probably find that you have commitments unrelated to your values. Reevaluate them. You will also find that you have values that you are not living out. Commit yourself to them.
2) TAKE A RISK Being committed involves risk. You may fail. Your teammates may let you down. You may discover that fulfilling your goals doesn’t give you the results you desire. But take the risk of committing anyway. George Halas, former owner of the NFL Chicago Bears, asserted, “Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.”
3) EVALUATE TEAMMATES’ COMMITMENT If you find it difficult to commit in particular relationships and you cannot find a reason for it in yourself, consider this: you cannot make a commitment to uncommitted people and expect to receive a commitment from them (Emphasis added). Examine the relationship(s), team, group to see whether YOU are reluctant because the potential recipient is uncommitted (maybe even untrustworthy).
4) INCREASE YOUR LEVEL OF COMMITMENT AND STAND FIRM ON MATTERS RELATED TO YOUR VALUES Loyalty is firm, and constant support and allegiance manifested, through the subordination of one’s own well-being to the Prosperity of the Group. A Loyal person puts the interest of his Group and the needs of its Members before his own. In his decision making, he is concerned first with the impact a course of action will have on the Group and only secondarily upon himself. His relationship with his Group and its Members is that of a fiduciary, in that he is charged with a special duty of Trust that obligates him to safeguard the groups Prosperity in everything he does.
DAILY SCRIPTURE
Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
1 Kings 8:61 Let your heart therefore be wholly true to the Lord our God, walking in his statutes and keeping his commandments, as at this day
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men
————————-
Next PAX circled up with sandbags & bricks: 1 PAX on Sandbag, 1 PAX on a brick, sandbag, brick, sandbag, brick, etc. (you get the idea). PAX rotated counter-clockwise around the circle alternating between Sandbags & Bricks:
Sandbags = 10 Sandbag Squats
Bricks = 10 Merkins (touch chest to the brick to work on full form)
Final stops of bags & bricks = 20 reps each
Total = 70 reps Sandbag Squats, 70 reps Merkins
One final COP: Al Gore for a couple of 10 Counts
With that, it was a wrap! Sand Bear, Sand Bear, what do you see? I see the end of the workout looking at me!
COT/BOM:
Announcements: Plan B has been activated for this year’s F3 first State Christmas Party – We’re moving to Irish Eyes, Friday, Dec. 13 @ 7 pm. Come one, come all. Thanks to Chairman for taking the lead on making the reservations call! Dec. 21-22 Crossroad Christmas (See Quattro for the skinny on the times)
Prayers: Streudel’s M, Lisa, biopsy today. Danielle, continued prayers thru her battle. Aaron, Chappie’s nephew deployed. Vanilla, continued prayers for health for entire family recovering from colds and flu. Prayers for all PAX to check their commitment levels.
Always an honor and painful pleasure to Q. Shout out to the Dirty Dozen who posted, and, as Chattahoochee’s shirt said, “Embrace the Suck.” Way to embrace it men!
Mosey to Georgetown FIre company and put Backs to wall
5 donkey kicks hold last kick until 6 was in and do 5 count
Hold peoples chair whild PAX takes turns doing 10 merkins
10 donkey kicks, hold last kick until 6 was in than do 10 count
Hold peoples chair while PAX takes turns doing 10 burpees
15 Donkey kicks, hold last kick until 6 was in than do 15 count
Hold peoples chair while PAX takes turns doing 10 LBC
20 Donkey kicks, hold last kick until 6 was in than do 20 count
Mosey 1/2 mile to local school
On front lawn of School we completed the Sheldon Cooper
First we did 10 burpees, 10 merkins, 10 BBSU, 10 squats do 1 lap
9 burpees, 9 merkins, 9 BBSU, 9 squats do 1 lap all the way down to 1 (Most of the HIM completed!! way to go guys Great push!!)
Mosey aprox 1/2 mile back to the AO
COT, name o Rama, Prayer requests, please keep Vanillas family lifted up in prayer they are going thru the sick season. Please keep all our families lifted up during this season. Also for our brother Doubtfire and his wife please keep them lifted during every prayer, Briggs family, Faith and Sue, Aaron(Chappies nephew) and please keep our brother Chappie lifted up in prayer also, he is facing possibly having a hernia, and we all know how much our brother loves being out in the Gloom.
F3 message Leadership
The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.”
– General Dwight D. Eisenhower
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:3-4
When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; But when a wicked man rules, the people groan.
Proverbs 29:2
He also chose David His servant, And took him from the sheepfolds; From following the ewes that had young He brought him, To shepherd Jacob His people, And Israel His inheritance. So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, And guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.
Psalms 78:70-72.
Words can be powerful, but only if you follow up their inspiration with action. Remember, a great leader requires more than a title — you need drive, creativity, and a willingness to learn. In any case being a leader requires great patience, an ability to learn, and the ability to stand firm on your decisions. A great leader accepts responsibility, is accountable.A great leader studies The Word of God and conciders it highly in His daily life. He is strong and courageous. Just like a Joshua Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
Mosey .25 to parking lot, Welsh Dragons across parking lot, Bear Crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time, Bear crawl forward 4 steps do 2 merkins 2 PJ, and 2 shoulder taps etc. all the way until we reached other side of parking lot.
COntinued Mosey another .25 Miles over Milfords beautiful riverwalk bridge until we got to our pain destination
At our pain destination we did 10 Burpees, did a lap around church, did 10 burpees and 20 jumping beans did lap around church, did 10 burpees, 20 jumping beans, and 30 Merkins, did lap around church, Inster F3 message here details are down below. Did 10 merkins 20 MJB, 30 merkins, and 40 Prison Squats, lap around church. FInally 10 Burpees, 20 MJB, 30 Merkins, 40 Prison squats, and 50 LBC.
Mosey back to AO
COURAGEOUS LEADERSHIP daily devotional
John Haggai defines leadership as, “the discipline of deliberately exerting special influence within a group to move it toward goals of beneficial permanence that fulfill the group’s real needs.” I feel that the most significant word in this sentence is ‘influence’ and so we can say in brief, “Leadership is Influence.” Growing up, the image I had of a leader was that of someone who headed an institution. But I soon realized that I was a leader in my home, in my church and in my friends’ circle because of the influence I exerted on these groups. As we go higher in our leadership position we influence more people. We can identify people as good or bad leaders depending on what kind of influence they exert. The recent ‘Arab Spring’ exposed so many leaders in the Middle East and Africa who exerted a bad influence on their countrymen.
Nehemiah is an example of an excellent leader. When it was reported to him about the miserable state of the Jerusalem wall, he was a captive in a foreign land. His immediate reaction was of great sorrow. But he also fasted and prayed, confessing the sins of the Israelites and asking for God’s guidance in his future endeavors. He saw the need and heard the call. He already had a good job of being the king’s cup bearer, but took the risk of pursuing a difficult task. He faced mockery but continued to deal with injustice. Indeed he motivated and gave leadership and direction to a hopeless and demoralized people. Nehemiah’s dependence on God and his positive influence on the people enabled them to rebuild the wall in fifty two days. Not only did he rebuild the wall he also made the people confess their sins and affirm their faith in God’s Law. The book of Nehemiah ends with a simple prayer, “Remember me with favor, O my God.”
When we look around us we will notice that people are looking for good leaders. Jesus was moved with compassion when He saw the multitudes that “were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” (Matt.9:36). Are we ready to be the godly influencers
Proverbs 11
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
Why: Why not? You’ll regret not being there if you miss it.
Q&A:
Q: How much does it cost?
A: Not a dime. But each PAX/M is asked to bring a pasta dish of your choice, salad, & dessert (just bring something to share)
Q: BYOB?
A: Drinks will be provided. But booze…I think is BYOB. Check with Ruxpin
Q: When should I RSVP?
A: Yesterday. Since you can’t do that hit up Ruxpin on the GroupMe or DM him so that he and Shawna can start to get a headcount.
Q: What if I have any additional questions not covered here?
A: Reach out to Ruxpin or Chappie in the Gloom or on F# First State FB or IG.
Thanks ahead of time to Ruxpin and his M, Shawna, for hosting this always-a-fun-time event. Let’s get together, celebrate Christmas and another year of F3, and enjoy some 2ndF beyond a morning workout (i.e. lets introduce our families to each other…)
8 PAX posted on this cool breezy morning for a pre thanksgiving beatdown to work up an appetite followed up by a little fellowship and coffeteria plenty of laughs and oh the stories that were .
WARM UP– 25 SSH, 20 WINDMILLS, 20 IMPERIAL WALKERS, 20 CHERRY PICKERS ALL IN CADENCE 15 BIG ARM CIRCLES FOWARD 15 BIG ARM CIRCLES BACKWARDS OYO.
THE THANG– THE Q TRIED SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS MORNING AND ANNOUNCED THAT ANYTIME DURING A MOSEY ANY PAX CAN YELL DROP AND GIVE ME 5, 10 OR 15 MERKINS. THIS STARTED OUT PRETTY STRONG DURING THE FIRST MOSEY BUT SLACKED OFF A LITTLE AFTER THE FIRST PAIN STATION. I DID LOSE COUNT BUT PLENTY OF MERKINS WERE DONE.
MOSEY TO THE FISHING PIER,
1st PAIN STATION BEAR CRAWL THE LENGTH OF PARKING SPACES EXCLUDING THE HANDICAP SPOTS, 25 DIPS ON BULKHEAD, 25 DERKINS ON SAME BULKHEAD, TOY SOLDIER SET 35 (LBCs) 25 (E2Ks) EACH SIDE, 15 (BIGBOYS), 25 SQUATS
MOSEY TO STRAWBERRY ALLEY,
2ND PAIN STATION HEY THERE’S A WALL WE HAVE NOT USED YET ALL PAX HAVE A SEAT AGAINST THE WALL WHILE PAX INDIVIDUALLY PERFORMED 5 TEXT BOOK BURPEES SOME OF US MAY HAVE BEEN GLAD THERE WERE ONLY 8 PAX A SHORT BREAK FOR A LITTLE 3RD F.
MOSEY TO THE PARK
3RD PAIN STATION 15 STEP UPS EACH LEG ON BENCH, PAX WORK CAPT. THOR WHILE 2 PAX AT A TIME MEET DO A MAX SET OF PULL-UPS ON THE HUMBLING RINGS.
MOSEY UP THE HILL AND BACK TO THE CHOP JUST IN TIME FOR 4 MINUTES OF MARY.
THE FIRST THANKSGIVING WAS A 3 DAY FEAST FOLLOWING A SUCCESSFUL HARVEST. NATIVE AMERICANS AND PILGRIMS FROM THE MAYFLOWER COME TOGETHER TO CELEBRATE HEALTH AND HARVEST. WHEN WE SAY THANKSGIVING WE ARE SAYING THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HELPED MAKE AMERICA THE PLACE IT IS TODAY. KEEPING WITH THAT I WOULD TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL THE SERVICE MEN AND WOMAN, POLICE FIRE AND EMS THAT CONTINUE TO MAKE AMERICA WHAT IT IS TODAY.
AS YOU ANTICIPATE TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES AND A DELICIOUS THANKSGIVING MEAL TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ON THE HOLIDAY AND HOW YOU CAN MAKE IT MEANINGFUL. THANKSGIVING IS FULL OF WAYS TO NURTURE GRATEFULNESS, EXPRESS GRATITUDE TOWARD GOD AND CELEBRATE A MEMORIAL HOLIDAY. DISCOVER HOW TO GO BEYOND FOOD AND FOOTBALL AND GLORIFY GOD ON THIS THANKSGIVING DAY. BE CAREFUL THAT YOU DO NOT TAKE THE DAY AND LEAVE OUT THE GRATITUDE, GRATITUDE UNLOCKS THE FULLNESS IN LIFE. IF THE ONLY PRAYER YOU SAY IS THANK YOU THEN IT WILL BE ENOUGH AND REMEMBER THANKSGIVING IS A TIME OF TOGETHERNESS AND GRATITUDE.
Walking lunge to light post then mosey to Shipbuilders
20 Mountain Climber Twists IC
25 Big Boys
10 Pendulum Lunges each leg
Mosey to MES
30 Panther Shoulder Taps IC
20 Xs and Os IC
25 Bobby Hurleys
Mosey to HOB entrance
High knees, butt kickers, karaoke down driveway then return
with mosey prison break light post to light post
Mosey to Waters Edge
20 Hand release merkins
Not so Lazy Lazyboys
8 Iron Mikes IC
Mosey to AO
F3 Message
“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be
glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24
What
Does a Good Day Look Like?
Waking up to a new day is the start
of a good day. For many of us, a good day includes having some alone time with
God during our day, getting our families ready for school and work, and then
doing whatever we need to do. Having a fulfilling day at work, being able to
help others, and knowing that our kids and spouses have had a good day at work
and school makes for a great day. Finally, spending time with your kids is a
common and great way to end your day. However, the most important (and best
part) of a good day is knowing that no matter what life throws at us, the Lord
is there for us.
Bolt 45’s –
15 squats to halfway down. 15 squats
halfway to full down. 15 full squats
Windmills – 20 IC
Dips – 20 IC
Mosey .47
miles to the School
The Thang
Super 21 Routine using the five
sidewalks at the front of the School – 1 Merkin & 1 Big Boy Sit up, mosey
to second sidewalk, 2 Merkins & 2 Big Boy’s mosey to third sidewalk, 3
Merkins & 3 Big Boy’s mosey to fourth sidewalk, 4 merkins & 4 Big Boy’s
mosey to fifth sidewalk, 5 merkins & 5 Big Boy’s, reverse sidewalks and repeat
until reaching 21 of both. Equals 231 of
each exercise.
Mosey .47 miles back to the Aegis
with the Armory as a waypoint.
Stop at the Armory steps and complete
Aiken legs – 20 squats, 20 box jumps, 20 lunges (10 each Leg), 20 split Jacks
(10 each Leg). The twist is that each
PAX will take each step up and each step down before performing each exercise.
Captain
Therkin – 1 big Boy to 4 American hammers; 5 Merkins . 2 Big Boys to 8 American Hammers; 5 Merkins
in ration to 10:40 with 5 Merkins.
Count-O-Rama, Name-O-Rama, and the Circle of Trust. Please keep all our HIM in your thoughts and prayers.
F3 Message 10/12/19 – Q spoke about a recent meeting where he had not exercised the best patience and professionalism. In fact, it was quite a flashback to the “old man” that he thought he had left behind. The following word from Ron Hutchcraft Ministries was shared with all attending PAX, but was still ringing in Q’s ear from his recent “Volcanic Eruption”.
Volcano Scars
When you’re angry, you’re probably a lot like a volcano. You erupt, spew out your lava, and often blow away a piece of the other person, if not yourself.
Every one of us carries around parts of us that
have been mortally wounded by something someone said to us in anger. They may
have forgotten it, but we can’t ever forget it because those create volcano
scars. Why do we do this to other people and usually the people we love the
most?
Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword.”
That’s the awesome power of our angry, irresponsible words. Proverbs 18:21 says that “The tongue has the power of life and
death.” We can say things that make a person feel more alive or that make
them feel dead inside. You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you?
The Bible pays a high tribute to a person who’s
under control. Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient man than a warrior, a
man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” That’s real
manhood.
If you’re tired of erupting and leaving volcano
scars on people, maybe it’s time to follow the steps to becoming an extinct
volcano:
Confess your anger and
your reckless words as the sin that they really are. Bring it to Jesus’ cross
and treat it as some of the ugly sin that literally killed our Savior. Then
confess it to the victims of your anger.
Don’t let the lava
build up; deal with issues right away.
Make yourself listen
and ask questions before you speak. James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and
slow to become angry.” If you listen, you’ll be slower to have anger.
Don’t say anything at
all until you’re under control.
Make Jesus Christ the
Lord of the raging animal inside you. We’ve all got one. That’s the
uncontrollable parts of us that are constant reminders that we need a Savior.
Give it to Him for this new day. If volcanoes could think, maybe they’d think twice about blowing their top. The volcano might reason, “You know, maybe I’ll feel better for a while, but is it worth blowing away a part of myself? Is it worth blowing away a part of a person I love?” Well, when we think about it, we know it’s not worth it. The tongue has the power of life and death and “reckless words pierce like a sword.” Haven’t we left enough volcano scars?
Warm-a-Rama 20 semi wave. i/c 20 ssh. I/c Nur around circle 20 plank Jack. i/c 20 seal Jacks. i/c Side shuffle around circle 20 should taps. I/c 20 Windmill. I/c Side shuffle (opposite side) around circle 20 mountain climbers i/c 20 Cherry pickers. I/c
Thang Mosey to church on Bradford street
10 swerkins, 30 lbcs 10 swerkins, 20 e2k 10 swerkins, 10 big boys
Mosey to Ruxpin’s distillery
Pax planks while one HIM goes up steps does 3 burpees on top then back in line. X2
Mosey to Domino’s
10 chicken peckers i/c 20 flutter kicks i/c
Wosey to parking lot by court house
Semi suicides Nur, side shuffle, jailbreak, bear crawl, lt Dan, crawl bear, mosey, and lt danger
15 per side Curb/bumper merkin (one hand on bumper/curb)
Mosey to circle
Toy soldier set 50 lbcs 30 e2k 20 big boys
9 HIM showed today: semi, summit, Chappie, doubtfire, quarto, toy soldier, bovine, Ruxpin, Vanilla
9 HIM posted for the first First State beatdown of the week and the month.
YHC pulled out what has become a standard of measure at the CHOP AO in Milton, DE: The 4 x 4! But the name was changed from 4 x 4 to 4 for #4 this time in honor of #4 Troy Haynes, star QB from Woodbridge High School, Class of 2019. This young-man was starting QB for 4 years, leading his high school football team to 2 State Championships. He was diagnosed in the Spring with kidney cancer. He’s been a strong tower through this battle, and his parents and family have been an amazing testimony of faith in Christ the whole time, hoping, praying for, and expecting the best. Sadly, Troy went home to be with the Lord on Sunday. He just turned 19-years-old!
The whole community of Woodbridge has stood by the Haynes family during this battle. YHC’s wife teaches in the Woodbridge School District and has been involved in rallies for #4 and kept YHC abreast of his situation. What a community! Everyone was praying. Everyone was wearing their shirts that said #fightlike4. Everyone was right there, on the sidelines, rooting for Troy through what turned out to be an insurmountable battle. Troy was apparently not accustomed to losing, but this one was out of his hands. If they could everyone around him, including Troy himself, would no doubt call some other play, any play, that would pull this one out for the win–whether it be a come from behind, after the 2-minute warning, last second, or an OT situation. Texas. In the end, there was no play call to beat this opponent. Cancer. Time ran out. Cancer sucks! A young man has been taken from his parents, family, friends, and this world. Too soon! Our hearts ache for the whole family, but for the parents, especially. Some of you have been there and done that, but most of us cannot imagine losing a child. They’re supposed to outlive us! There’s no understanding this side of heaven to be able to explain, more less fully accept such a loss. There are no easy answers. Presence. Yet, we know Christ who holds this family and the entire world in His hands. In situations like this we may not know the future, but we can find peace in Him who holds it. We pray this for Troy’s mom and dad, and for his siblings. As part of the community-at-large, we’ll continue to pray for and support and stand beside this family–their hopes were not seemingly satisfied. While there are no answers in all of this (yet), the family’s faith has been strong. We trust that it remains as such, and if not, where it is perhaps tested or maybe even broken, may God use this experience to rebuild their faith in due time.
This workout was themed in honor of Troy: 4 for #4: 4 corners [around the block, 0.5 miles] with 4 workouts, one on each corner. It went a little something like this:
Cherry Picker (Crab Flipper, Hairy Chigger) – 18 IC
Italian Night Club – 18 IC
B2G (Butt 2 Ground) Squats – 10 Count Hold (x3)
Brief review on the purpose of the Shovel-Flag, the Mission of F3 to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups of men for the invigoration of male community leadership, and the principles of F3: 1. All men 2. Always outdoors, rain or shine, hot or cold 3. Peer lead 4. Free, and 4. Always end with a COT.
Brief explanation of workout and how we were going to use it as a simple tribute to Troy Haynes. #4!
Transition to next corner: Mosey down Willow Ave. toward Union St. 50% mosey to 1st light pole, 75% mosey to 2nd light pole, Jail Break rest of the way to…
Corner #4: Body – Burpees – 10 OYO, Mt. Climbers – 10 OYO, Flying Squirrels – 10 OYO, and Mule Kicks – 10 OYO (YHC’s back still hurts! note to self: NEVER put these on the Weinke again!)
There you have it, 4 [corners] for #4.
Mosey return to the AO. And looky, looky, it’s 0600 hrs.
COT/BOM:
Announcements: Lots of chatter about some unheard of run. The Dogfish somethin’ or other? We’re going to check into this thing and see what it’s all about. Anybody know anything? (Seriously, great job to all the guys who ran it! Chairman, Chattahoochee, Leatherman.) Shout out to all those pushing not only to improve their wellness, but also their leadershipness. #F3FirstStateVisibility
Prayers: Haynes family, that God and His people would surround them during this time | Gump, recovery from possible stress fracture | A bunch of other requests that I’ve forgotten but Christ has not. All humbly lifted to our Lord.
Thanks to all the HIM who won That First Battle, overcame the draw of the fartsack (which has apparently been very strong as of late), and posted. You posted and that’s why YHC posted! Honored to lead this workout as a simple tribute to #4, and honored to lead the PAX of F3 First State! Aye!
Chappie, out!
3rd F Message shared prior to Corner 3 workout. The full version:
We’ve all inadvertently inflicted pain on someone else, we’ve all inadvertently been the source of someone else’s pain. I remember once when Zeke (our 20-yr-old) was a baby and I had just changed his diaper. As I was getting him dressed again, I began to snap the shoulder snaps on his onesie. One moment everything was fine, a split-second later, he was red-in-the-face screaming and crying. I had no idea what was wrong with my little guy, and I all I wanted to do was finish dressing him so I could pick him up to comfort him. I was having trouble with one of the snaps, so I hurried even more, pressing the snaps harder between my fingers. He screamed and cried louder. I became all the more determined to get the thing snapped, so I squeezed the snap harder still. The result was his escalating pain. At that moment I was horrified to realize he was being tortured by ME! He was screaming and crying because of ME! The snaps I’d kept squeezing harder together would not close because I had the skin of his left shoulder between them. I was the source of his pain! Inadvertently, yes! But I was inflicting severe pain upon someone I loved. (Not talking about discipline here, that’s very purposeful pain, but I’m talking about inadvertent infliction.)
Several pieces of this scene translate into tools we can use when discovering that we’re the source of someone else’s pain:
First: STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I stopped. I realized I’d had some of his skin between the snaps and I was hurting him, so I stopped right away. When you and I realize that what we’re doing is a source of someone else’s pain — a loved one, a friend, a peer, an acquaintance, or even someone we may not know — we have to stop doing whatever it is that’s causing them pain. You might discover it on your own, they may tell you (depending on age, they might even scream or cry :-), or an outside voice might come from someone observing what’s going on and mention it to you. The point is that awareness should bring it’s end.
Second: COMFORT THE OTHER PERSON. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I comforted him. I immediately picked him up and I soothed his shoulder the best I could. I couldn’t believe what I’d done. Frankly, I’m surprised there’s no scar there today. Pain brings discomfort. The level of pain inflicted carries with it a corresponding level of discomfort. My son was only a baby at the time, and it was easier to comfort him in that moment than at other times in his adolescence, or since as a young adult when I’ve failed him and inadvertently inflicted pain upon him (or others). The same is true among all of us as adults; we can’t simply pick up another adult and soothe them from [physical/emotional/relational] pain we’ve caused. Oh, if it were only THAT easy! It’s going to be different when we’re dealing with each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet, still, maybe it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we sometimes make it. After all, we’re “members one of another” according to Romans 12:5. And Romans 14:19 says, “So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” What it is that will provide comfort for someone when we’ve been the source of their pain? Our pursuit of making peace with them (no matter who it is).
Third: EXPRESS YOUR SORROW. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I pleaded my sorrow to him. As a baby, he had no clue what I was saying. But he did understand the action of my love. He knew my sorrow because it was expressed not just by my voice (words he didn’t understand) but by my affection and by my repentance (I stopped doing that which was his source of pain and I picked him up and held him til the pain subsided). God’s Word talks about a sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10). While that refers to salvation, I think we can apply it here. When we’re the source of someone else’s pain, its not enough to simply say we’re sorry. Our sorrow over hurting someone else has to lead us not only to stopping, but it has to lead to reconciling with them. Taking full responsibility for our words and/or actions is part of godly sorrow.
When Carol and I were first married we attended what was essentially a small group for Marriage Ministries International. Someone in the group quipped that there were 12 words that we’d have to get used to saying: “You were right. I was wrong. Please forgive me. I love you!” If I recall correctly, the husbands (especially) were taught we’d have to get used to saying them if we wanted a happy marriage. I jest, but there’s truth in those words that we’ve both actually kept handy for nearly 26 years now. Here’s some key advice for expressing your sorrow when you’ve been the source of someone else’s pain. DO NOT just say sorry! DO tell them you know exactly what you did that hurt them. Take full responsibility for it! Plead sorrow and use these words EVERY time: “Will you forgive me?” If you’re the one who’s been hurt, and someone is admitting their wrong and asking for your forgiveness, use these words EVERY time: “I forgive you.” Say it! You’ve probably noticed some who are utterly uncomfortable using these words. Well, make it your practice anyway! Who knows, maybe it’ll catch on. Remember, express genuine sorrow and take full responsibility for doing whatever it was that was the source of someone’s pain, and let the action that follows do the convincing: “…fervently love one another from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus said, “If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you [i.e. you probably hurt him], leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
Also, in the next chapter, right after the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught this about forgiveness: “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then you Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matt. 6:14-15). In summary, these verses say we are to treat others the way God has treated us.
Rest assured I was careful to never pinch my boy’s skin between the shoulder snaps of his onesie again. Nonetheless, I have been a source of pain to him in other ways. To be fair, he’s done the same. I’m human. He’s human. We’re all human, and there have been plenty of times when we’ve inadvertently been the source of someone else’s pain. And maybe they’ve been the source of ours. Yet, we have this God-driven love for one another, supernatural love, which not only prompts us in the Spirit of Christ to reconcile, but He’s also given us the above tools and many more to work through the pain and continue on in healthy relationships with one another. That’s what HIM men do!
