Toy Soldier

Date: 10/1/19

QIC: Chappie

9 HIM posted for the first First State beatdown of the week and the month.

YHC pulled out what has become a standard of measure at the CHOP AO in Milton, DE: The 4 x 4! But the name was changed from 4 x 4 to 4 for #4 this time in honor of #4 Troy Haynes, star QB from Woodbridge High School, Class of 2019. This young-man was starting QB for 4 years, leading his high school football team to 2 State Championships. He was diagnosed in the Spring with kidney cancer. He’s been a strong tower through this battle, and his parents and family have been an amazing testimony of faith in Christ the whole time, hoping, praying for, and expecting the best. Sadly, Troy went home to be with the Lord on Sunday. He just turned 19-years-old!

The whole community of Woodbridge has stood by the Haynes family during this battle. YHC’s wife teaches in the Woodbridge School District and has been involved in rallies for #4 and kept YHC abreast of his situation. What a community! Everyone was praying. Everyone was wearing their shirts that said #fightlike4. Everyone was right there, on the sidelines, rooting for Troy through what turned out to be an insurmountable battle. Troy was apparently not accustomed to losing, but this one was out of his hands. If they could everyone around him, including Troy himself, would no doubt call some other play, any play, that would pull this one out for the win–whether it be a come from behind, after the 2-minute warning, last second, or an OT situation. Texas. In the end, there was no play call to beat this opponent. Cancer. Time ran out. Cancer sucks! A young man has been taken from his parents, family, friends, and this world. Too soon! Our hearts ache for the whole family, but for the parents, especially. Some of you have been there and done that, but most of us cannot imagine losing a child. They’re supposed to outlive us! There’s no understanding this side of heaven to be able to explain, more less fully accept such a loss. There are no easy answers. Presence. Yet, we know Christ who holds this family and the entire world in His hands. In situations like this we may not know the future, but we can find peace in Him who holds it. We pray this for Troy’s mom and dad, and for his siblings. As part of the community-at-large, we’ll continue to pray for and support and stand beside this family–their hopes were not seemingly satisfied. While there are no answers in all of this (yet), the family’s faith has been strong. We trust that it remains as such, and if not, where it is perhaps tested or maybe even broken, may God use this experience to rebuild their faith in due time.

This workout was themed in honor of Troy: 4 for #4: 4 corners [around the block, 0.5 miles] with 4 workouts, one on each corner. It went a little something like this:

Warm-O-Rama:

• SSM (Side Straddle Medley): SSH – 9 IC, SwartzJacks – 9 IC, SealJacks – 9 IC
• Moroccan Night Club – 20 IC
• Cherry Picker (Crab Flipper, Hairy Chigger) – 18 IC
• Italian Night Club – 18 IC
• B2G (Butt 2 Ground) Squats – 10 Count Hold (x3)
• Brief review on the purpose of the Shovel-Flag, the Mission of F3 to plant, grow, and serve small workout groups of men for the invigoration of male community leadership, and the principles of F3: 1. All men 2. Always outdoors, rain or shine, hot or cold 3. Peer lead 4. Free, and 4. Always end with a COT.
• Brief explanation of workout and how we were going to use it as a simple tribute to Troy Haynes. #4!
• Mosey to Corner #1…

The THANG:

Corner #1: Merkins – 5 Prison Cell, 10 Diamond, 15 Wide-Arm, 20 Irkins

Transition to next corner: Lt. Dan to light pole, High Knees to green light, mosey to…

Corner #2: Abs – X’s & O’s – 18 OYO, Dying Cockroaches – 18 IC, 4-Count Freddies – 18 IC (Where you been #Hideous?), ‘Merican Hammers – 18 IC

Transition to next corner: Bear Crawl to 1st power pole, Dragon Crawl to 2nd power pole, Karaoke rest of the way to…

>>>>>Inserted 3rdF here for a brief breather (Full version, read below)

Corner #3: Legs – Plank Jacks – 18 OYO, Smurf Jacks – 18 OYO, Monkey Humpers – 18 OYO, Prisoner Squats – 18 OYO

Transition to next corner: Mosey down Willow Ave. toward Union St. 50% mosey to 1st light pole, 75% mosey to 2nd light pole, Jail Break rest of the way to…

Corner #4: Body – Burpees – 10 OYO, Mt. Climbers – 10 OYO, Flying Squirrels – 10 OYO, and Mule Kicks – 10 OYO (YHC’s back still hurts! note to self: NEVER put these on the Weinke again!)

There you have it, 4 [corners] for #4.

Mosey return to the AO. And looky, looky, it’s 0600 hrs.

COT/BOM:

• Announcements: Lots of chatter about some unheard of run. The Dogfish somethin’ or other? We’re going to check into this thing and see what it’s all about. Anybody know anything? (Seriously, great job to all the guys who ran it! Chairman, Chattahoochee, Leatherman.) Shout out to all those pushing not only to improve their wellness, but also their leadershipness. #F3FirstStateVisibility
• Prayers: Haynes family, that God and His people would surround them during this time | Gump, recovery from possible stress fracture | A bunch of other requests that I’ve forgotten but Christ has not. All humbly lifted to our Lord.

Thanks to all the HIM who won That First Battle, overcame the draw of the fartsack (which has apparently been very strong as of late), and posted. You posted and that’s why YHC posted! Honored to lead this workout as a simple tribute to #4, and honored to lead the PAX of F3 First State! Aye!

Chappie, out!

3rd F Message shared prior to Corner 3 workout. The full version:

We’ve all inadvertently inflicted pain on someone else, we’ve all inadvertently been the source of someone else’s pain. I remember once when Zeke (our 20-yr-old) was a baby and I had just changed his diaper. As I was getting him dressed again, I began to snap the shoulder snaps on his onesie. One moment everything was fine, a split-second later, he was red-in-the-face screaming and crying. I had no idea what was wrong with my little guy, and I all I wanted to do was finish dressing him so I could pick him up to comfort him. I was having trouble with one of the snaps, so I hurried even more, pressing the snaps harder between my fingers. He screamed and cried louder. I became all the more determined to get the thing snapped, so I squeezed the snap harder still. The result was his escalating pain. At that moment I was horrified to realize he was being tortured by ME! He was screaming and crying because of ME! The snaps I’d kept squeezing harder together would not close because I had the skin of his left shoulder between them. I was the source of his pain! Inadvertently, yes! But I was inflicting severe pain upon someone I loved. (Not talking about discipline here, that’s very purposeful pain, but I’m talking about inadvertent infliction.)

Several pieces of this scene translate into tools we can use when discovering that we’re the source of someone else’s pain:

First: STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I stopped. I realized I’d had some of his skin between the snaps and I was hurting him, so I stopped right away. When you and I realize that what we’re doing is a source of someone else’s pain — a loved one, a friend, a peer, an acquaintance, or even someone we may not know — we have to stop doing whatever it is that’s causing them pain. You might discover it on your own, they may tell you (depending on age, they might even scream or cry :-), or an outside voice might come from someone observing what’s going on and mention it to you. The point is that awareness should bring it’s end.

Second: COMFORT THE OTHER PERSON. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I comforted him. I immediately picked him up and I soothed his shoulder the best I could. I couldn’t believe what I’d done. Frankly, I’m surprised there’s no scar there today. Pain brings discomfort. The level of pain inflicted carries with it a corresponding level of discomfort. My son was only a baby at the time, and it was easier to comfort him in that moment than at other times in his adolescence, or since as a young adult when I’ve failed him and inadvertently inflicted pain upon him (or others). The same is true among all of us as adults; we can’t simply pick up another adult and soothe them from [physical/emotional/relational] pain we’ve caused. Oh, if it were only THAT easy! It’s going to be different when we’re dealing with each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Yet, still, maybe it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we sometimes make it. After all, we’re “members one of another” according to Romans 12:5. And Romans 14:19 says, “So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” What it is that will provide comfort for someone when we’ve been the source of their pain? Our pursuit of making peace with them (no matter who it is).

Third: EXPRESS YOUR SORROW. When I discovered I was causing my son pain I pleaded my sorrow to him. As a baby, he had no clue what I was saying. But he did understand the action of my love. He knew my sorrow because it was expressed not just by my voice (words he didn’t understand) but by my affection and by my repentance (I stopped doing that which was his source of pain and I picked him up and held him til the pain subsided). God’s Word talks about a sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10). While that refers to salvation, I think we can apply it here. When we’re the source of someone else’s pain, its not enough to simply say we’re sorry. Our sorrow over hurting someone else has to lead us not only to stopping, but it has to lead to reconciling with them. Taking full responsibility for our words and/or actions is part of godly sorrow.

When Carol and I were first married we attended what was essentially a small group for Marriage Ministries International. Someone in the group quipped that there were 12 words that we’d have to get used to saying: “You were right. I was wrong. Please forgive me. I love you!” If I recall correctly, the husbands (especially) were taught we’d have to get used to saying them if we wanted a happy marriage. I jest, but there’s truth in those words that we’ve both actually kept handy for nearly 26 years now. Here’s some key advice for expressing your sorrow when you’ve been the source of someone else’s pain. DO NOT just say sorry! DO tell them you know exactly what you did that hurt them. Take full responsibility for it! Plead sorrow and use these words EVERY time: “Will you forgive me?” If you’re the one who’s been hurt, and someone is admitting their wrong and asking for your forgiveness, use these words EVERY time: “I forgive you.” Say it! You’ve probably noticed some who are utterly uncomfortable using these words. Well, make it your practice anyway! Who knows, maybe it’ll catch on. Remember, express genuine sorrow and take full responsibility for doing whatever it was that was the source of someone’s pain, and let the action that follows do the convincing: “…fervently love one another from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus said, “If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you [i.e. you probably hurt him], leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

Also, in the next chapter, right after the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught this about forgiveness: “For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then you Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matt. 6:14-15). In summary, these verses say we are to treat others the way God has treated us.

Rest assured I was careful to never pinch my boy’s skin between the shoulder snaps of his onesie again. Nonetheless, I have been a source of pain to him in other ways. To be fair, he’s done the same. I’m human. He’s human. We’re all human, and there have been plenty of times when we’ve inadvertently been the source of someone else’s pain. And maybe they’ve been the source of ours. Yet, we have this God-driven love for one another, supernatural love, which not only prompts us in the Spirit of Christ to reconcile, but He’s also given us the above tools and many more to work through the pain and continue on in healthy relationships with one another. That’s what HIM men do!