F3 WELCOME & DISCLAIMER Disclaimed.
The HIM : Chappie, Ruxpin, Woodstock, Waterfall, Mac Daddy, Sherlock, Special Guest: Timeclock Looney Tunes on Q
WARM-O-RAMA:
30 Side Streudal Hops,
30 Windmills,
30 Imperial Walkers,
30 cherry pickers,
30 Maracan Night Club
THA-THANG 4 Rounds of Staple Exercises:
Horseman 1 | ROUND 1:MOSEY
Bolt 45
40 Dips(tricep dips)
30 little baby crunches(LBCs)
30 merkins.
Horseman 2 | ROUND 2:
50 squats,
40 mountain climbers,
40 Big Boys
40 DERKINS
Horseman 3 | ROUND 3:
BEAR CRAWL
40 Squats
40 Dips(tricep dips)
30 little baby crunches(LBCs)
30 merkins.
Horseman 4 | ROUND 4:
Mosey
20 Squats
30 Dips(tricep dips)
30 merkins.
30 little baby crunches(LBCs)
BONUS: 20 Military Big Boys(Guy holding your feet)
THE 3rd F The 4 Horsemen:
I went to an Iron Council event called the Maine Event with what i thought was a Battle plan.
The focus is on the Battle Planner which has 4 quadrants Calibration | Contribution | Conditioning | Connection. Right now, I’m focusing on Contribution(business) this quarter, my calibration is good, my conditioning is good, my Connection quadrant was all about connecting with business owners and NOT about connecting with my family.
Then, we had a CONNECTION presentation by Taylor Jacobson. I fully planned on zoning out but I think the “Jocko Go” kept me super focused all weekend.
He began going through the 4 Horsemen of Fractured Relationships:
The First Horseman: Criticism – and I think, “Oh I criticize people sometimes, but my home life is great. This is just coincidence.”
Second Horseman: Defensiveness: Always justifying yourself. I think, “Well, I have to do that, I HAVE to be defensive. My family doesn’t understand how hard I work.”
Third Horseman: Contempt: -“I dont do that” then once it was explained as talking down, I thought. “shit I do that, but in a funny way, that’s ok right?”
Most importantly, contempt is the single greatest predictor of divorce. It must be eliminated.
Fourth: STONEWALLING: Zone Out, ignoring.
It was at this point I wanted to sneak out of the building and hitchhike home down I-95.
I was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as an Atlas Stone on my shoulder. As uncomfortable as realizing that Taylor is telling stories as examples and he might as well use my name.
I realized- The Four Horseman were right outside my home. Just waiting.
It was a good wake up for me to be honest, I may have been taking my family relationships for granted.
Luckily, Taylor gave us some antidotes to fight these 4 bastards.
The 4 Antidotes
Criticism:
Gentle Startup Dealing with problems in a calm and gentle way. The focus is on the problem—not the person.
Defensiveness
Take Responsibility Own up to your behavior without blaming others
CONTEMPT
Share Fondness & Admiration Foster a healthy relationship by regularly showing each other respect and appreciation. • Show affection. • Recognize your partner’s strengths. • Give compliments
STONEWALLING
Use Self-Soothing Use relaxation techniques to calm down and stay present with your partner.
• Agree to pause the conversation briefly.
• Use deep breathing. • Use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)
I usually I keep these things to myself, “I’ll work on them in silence”. This time, when I got home I opened my notes and showed my wife the Damn 4 Horsemen of Fractured relationships.
Im fighting them off now- it’s been a week since I got back from Maine. The other morning I got a little heated at something (dog related or probably job related) and I could feel myself wanting to STONEWALL.
I forced myself to tell my wife a separate story about farming or something to establish that: 1) the argument was over, 2) I’m not mad- we cool.
We dont know what we dont know.
And we dont know what to ask. I would’ve never googled 4 horsemen unless I was looking for a Ric Flair Meme.
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/four-horsemen.pdf